How Trust Is Built Through Shibari
When I first became interested in Shibari, its beauty captivated me. The symmetrical patterns and shapes that could be created interested me artistically, but the beauty expressed through a wide range of emotions intrigued me even more…
I didn't know yet that beauty, trust and surrender would be so intertwined.
The Dawn
But then, my interest and openness felt afflicted after experiencing sexual abuse. Not gone; but frozen in time. I couldn’t bring myself to trust another person in sharing and co-creating such raw experiences of our humanness together. My trust that another person would look out for my wellbeing had slowly died. And this fact troubled me.
It didn’t stop there. I lost trust in everything, even in reality itself. My trauma was a constant realization of mistrust, doubt, and fear that paralyzed my life. I didn’t know what to trust anymore, or what I was allowed to feel inside my own skin. So much felt wrong within me, and that grieved me, because I hadn’t always been this person.
While living this twisted reality, another part of me running alongside the chaos was motivated, inspired and committed to overcome this and not let this consume me more than it already did. I didn’t know how I would get there. I just knew I had to give it my all and try. It became my whole focus in life to allow a transformation to take place and change who I was. Deep within I knew it would lead me towards a great adventure. And it truly has!
Oh dear, Shibari
When Shibari entered my life, I realized there was a way to actually inhabit my body that felt safe. Moment after moment during a tie I could reaffirm or deny my trust. To deeply open myself to vulnerable moments, witnessed by another. It was a breath of fresh air for my nervous system capacity.
Talking through what I wanted, what I didn't, how I'd communicate what was happening inside me as it was happening; that was a framework I simply hadn't had before. Inside that framework, I could explore my own edges, stare straight at the abyss, and still feel certain of my fate. It felt like standing in the eye of a hurricane without ever being touched by the wind. That feeling; exhilarating, impossible, true; It is what kept me coming back again and again.
Building Trust Through Shibari
For most of my life, I had lived with the belief that my safety was something handed to me, or taken from me, by someone else's choices alone. Shibari taught me something different: that I was also an active participant in my own safety. My voice, my yes, my no, my pause; all of it carried real weight. There is accountability in our actions for both me as the person being tied and for the person tying. A shared responsibility in our co-creation. This changed my outlook on relationships and my perspective on trust and safety.
I learned that two things could be true at once. That we give our trust to people and simply hope they don't abuse it. That good people can still hurt you, and people who've done harm can still do good. I became more compassionate with myself, less hard and less performative in front of expectations.
Add to this, the state of consciousness that rope brings on let me navigate my wounds, my gifts, and a wisdom that had been inside me the whole time, simply buried. It felt like uncovering an archaeological site where I was both the worshipper and the worshipped. The duality and non-duality of life finally began to make sense.
Learning to Trust Myself
None of this happened automatically, it happened over the span of years. Across many moments redefining what trust and safety actually felt in my body.
A big part of this was learning to self tie. Knowing my own body intimately, without anyone else's hands involved, taught me what a real YES felt like from the inside. That practice sharpened my intuition more than almost anything else has.
I live inside that flux now, the way life actually moves moment to moment, never fixed, always changing. And I trust myself to meet it with openess.
What is Bound to Nature?
This is the foundation everything at Bound to Nature is built on. My biggest wish is to see a world that is more connected, more loving, and more open to trust in the unknown possibilities.
I created this work for the person still waiting underneath the hum of mistrust — the one who is ready to feel something real again, and trust that it's safe to.
If this post opened something in you, the Bound to Nature Shibari Guide is where to begin. A resource built for those ready to explore rope not as performance, but as a practice — in your own body, on your own terms.
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